English: Pindastha dhyaana in Jain meditation

English: Pindastha dhyaana in Jain meditation (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Lord Mahaveer shown in meditation

English: Lord Mahaveer shown in meditation (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I never really knew who I was. I have always known who I wanted to be and who everyone else wanted me to be and felt like that was more important than truly discovering myself. Under rough circumstances, I have been very lucky to get the opportunity to spend time in my own head, to try new things, to find out who I really want to be deep down inside and who I am. For the first time in my life I feel like I have a direction and a purpose and am actually getting excited about things. It’s been a long time since I can say I have had this kind of drive to do anything and now I am using it to better myself and my connection here in this world. It’s actually very scary feeling all of these overwhelming feelings so quickly but it also feels right. “Right” doesn’t feel like the right word. It’s more than right, I can’t put it into words. I have so many emotions swirling through my head right now I feel like I could just ramble on for hours.

The point I want to make is, I truly believe everyone needs to take some time off from life for a bit to “discover” themselves. It’s insane how much I have learned in just the past few weeks and every experience I have, good and bad, I am taking in and using it to better myself as a person for myself and for my friends and family. I’m smiling again! As silly as that sounds, just thinking about it makes me smile!

I know I’m going to be okay. More than okay. And that is not something I could have said a month ago.

Meditation has also been becoming easier for me. I have been finding it easier to give myself into whatever is going on up there and to stop over thinking for a period of time. I’m not where I want to be yet but I feel progress and I feel almost whole again. (–I added some of my favorite links at the bottom for some great ideas and ways to get started!)

Take the time for yourself. You can’t be happy with anyone else or those around you if you first aren’t happy with who you are. This is a hard lesson to learn but I know that I learned it at the right time. The universe has it’s plan. Things will always fall into place how they’re supposed to, even if we don’t always understand, you just have to keep pushing and know that everything we encounter in life has a purpose or meaning to it.

Reflection will lead to transformation. If you have never meditated before and need a little boost to help you, I would highly recommend guided meditations to help teach your body to reach a state of natural and deep relaxation. (There are a million on YouTube). Once you feel comfortable reaching that state of being, try it with just simple meditation background music or anything soft and calm without words. I was skeptical at first and got very discouraged. It takes a LOT of practice but I promise you it is worth it.

Clearly my head is in a million places right now. I apologize! I feel like I had so many things to get out and if I said everything on my mind it would turn into a novel. 

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