Personal poetry. All rights reserved.
This is my own personal writing. Everything in this section is my original work. Please respect that and enjoy!Open my eyes. Shit, it’s Saturday. Weekends mean the hunger sets in. I don’t want to move from bed. The monsters in my stomach are fighting. They’re desperate. The stars come out. They are becoming permanent. Pretty colors in moments of blackness. During the week it’s not so bad. I have work to fool my mind. Free snacks in the break room. It’s the weekends when things fall apart. No distractions… Only my angry insides fighting. Fighting me. They’re starving… Not just for food but for nourishment. To be well, to be healthy, to feel secure. Unfortunately that is not an option. Those beautiful stars amiss the black, They’re becoming a part of me. I’m not sure they’ll ever leave And I’m starting to become okay with that. Quiet the monsters in, Monday will come soon enough… This is a poem from about a year ago. It’s crazy how things come full circle and how perfect the timing of me coming across this again is. Thank you angels. 5/21/13- Running late. Typical. Anxiety, panic. Again, typical. One too many drags of nicotine. Typical. Check the rear view mirror smoke terror 80 mph but I’m sitting still. The world rushes past but I’m sitting still. React React React! Turn around and grab the smoking nicotine out the window it disappears in an 80 mph world. I’m still sitting still. Not moving. Now somehow I’m at work. This is my life. It is ending one moment at a time and I’m letting it. Consciously giving in. This is not who I am. Time to reevaluate. Again. Typical. 2 years of constant pain Unbalanced Chakras Crystals Charging tokens Energy It’s all coming together as I was told it would. Patience Frustration Tears Blood Hospitals It’s here? It’s over? I’m not sure which one applies. My life is beginning. Confidence Joy and balance Clear pathways Overwhelming love and a sense of peace. This is so new and wonderful I don’t have the right words. The pain is gone and I feel the strength; energy buzzing through my flesh, through my veins, through my heart and soul. I’ve found myself. I’ve found what I knew all along but was afraid to accept.
Going back through some of my poetry journals and came across this one that I wrote about Chris. It is amazing how true it still rings and how it confirms everything I needed to validate for myself in more ways than one.
Water rushing by.
Immersed in nature.
I notice him out of the corner of my eyes.
Do answers lie within him? Is he here to guide my soul in this present lifetime?
The white tips of the rapids are imprinted in my mind, right next to the image of him.
He is a sure sign send from my spirit guides.
Thank for you for helping me realize
he truly cares,
he truly loves, and
he truly wants the same reality in this life as me.
Together, with our spirit guides leading us, we will share this time here on earth